According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it can be defined as the act of making a person or a thing seem minor or unimportant.
Have you ever experienced belittlement? Have you ever been belittled? Or felt like you have been minimized? It’s not a great feeling.
Belittling is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It can be carried out by the abuser in many forms. Examples of belittling are:
- Being yelled at and screamed at.
- Being insulted, called fat, ugly, and all sorts of abusive names.
- Having your feelings ignored, and accomplishments either minimized or completely ignored.
- Being accused of overreacting to their abusive words or behaviors, and so on.
A lot of us have experienced belittlement. Many of us were unaware that, that’s what it was. Unfortunately, many also endure this form of abuse constantly, a daily occurrence plaguing their lives.
Belittlement can be present in Abusive relationships, Friendships, Parent-Child Relationships, Classrooms, amongst Peers, Teacher-student relationships and so much more.
This form of emotional abuse though quite common is not talked about a lot. When researching the effects of belittlement, we find that belittlement can cause:
- Low Self-confidence
- Lowered self-esteem
- Increased hostility towards others
- Alienation
- Depression
Effects of Belittlement
According to the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Website.
“Belittling can have a most egregious impact upon the life of a child.”
“Constantly belittling, threatening or ignoring children can be as damaging to their mental health as physical or sexual abuse.” (Goodwin, 2012, Online)
The graver issue with belittling is that it leaves no visible or recognizable scars. But, with no bruises to spot, pediatricians, teachers, and family members may have trouble recognizing these and other forms of psychological abuse.
Not only are there no obvious physical scars, there is no universally agreed-upon definition of what constitutes psychological maltreatment of children, and a fine line can exist between not-so-great parenting and outright abuse…
Regrettably, there are no uniformed codes of being, or conducting oneself, as a parent. Moreover, it is important to recognize that belittling is not limited to the home, but occurs frequently on the playground and in the classroom.
Do not dismiss where, when, and/or how belittling is fostered; because the effect of belittling can have the same effect no matter where, when, and/or how it is cultivated. It is most important to recognize that belittling someone is abuse and it will have a lifelong effect.
How to heal from Emotional Abuse
Maybe we’ve also partaken in the belittlement of someone else. The fact that you may recognize so, is already a good start. If possible, it would be wise to reach out to the said person and extend your apologies.
I personally don’t think it’s ever too late to apologize. You never know how badly your actions may have affected someone. Well, unless it was when you were a child, then surely you’re innocence and ignorance would be an excuse.
Even still, if possible, reach out with a sorry.
1. Use Positive Daily Affirmations
The definition of Affirmations in New Thought and New Age terminology refer primarily to the practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment — fostering a belief that “a positive mental attitude supported by affirmations will achieve success in anything.”
More specifically, an Affirmation is a carefully formatted statement that should be repeated to one’s self and written down frequently.
Benefits of Affirmations
Using affirmations has said to;
- Decrease health-deteriorating stress
- Control self-sabotaging thoughts and speech
- Improve mood
- Promote positive coping
- And so much more.
2. Listen to Music and Dance like there’s no tomorrow.
I Always dance with myself, even when I look crazy doing it. We’ve all been sad and didn’t know what to do, or even how to feel. For many of us, music and dancing have always been coping tools, and quite frankly really good ones. With positive effects too.
This time, try not to lay down reminiscing or pretending you’re in a music video, stand up and dance!
Dancing improves our muscle tone and strength, but it also improves our self-esteem, improves our mood, and lessens loneliness.
3. Ask for Help
Why is it important to ask for help?
Sometimes, using coping strategies and tools doesn’t work. Sometimes we need a professional to help us identify what we’re feeling and why we’re feeling that way.
You can’t go wrong with seeking some help, be it from an older role model, coach, therapist, or Teacher. Of course, if they’re not a health professional let it be someone you trust will give you unbiased advice.
4. Pray
When trying to heal from emotional Abuse, it is always important to pray for healing. I can’t explain enough, the importance of prayer. So, I’ll let the bible do so:
“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 4:5–7
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” Colossians 4:2
Though some people may get a thrill from making others feel bad. The Lord our God is always there for us. Ready to listen to our every worry, knows our every need, and protects his children.
“3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. 4 We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. 5 May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.”–2 Thessalonians 3:3–5
The next time you feel belittled, don’t think too much about the act and how it made you feel. Retreat to your quiet place, and pray. Pray for healing, and pray for peace. Despite all the adversity, and abuse you may face, never forget to pray as you go.
5.Go for an Overseas Travel Adventure
Be free as a bird, and go where the wind takes you.
Remember: Should you ever find yourself the victim of people’s bitterness, insecurities, or smallness, remember things could be worse. You could be them. –Unknown.
References.
- “The effects of belittling”Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association(CCPA). Asa Don Brown. Published September 27, 2013.
- “Affirmations (New Age).”
- “The Big deal about belittling.”Washington Daily News. Hyde County Hotline. Published January 21, 2020.
- “9 Science-Based Benefits of using positive Affirmations.”.com. Sarah Kristenson. Published April 28, 2022.
- “20 Meaningful Bible Verses about Prayer.”.Countryliving.com. Julia Ludlam. Published April 4, 2020.
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